I'm Back

Well I am back. Not sure what to write. It will be a quick one, as I am quite tired. A lot on my mind. A lot has happened. I am not sure I can write all about it.......lol. It's quite the day here in Iowa City, Iowa. I am missing someone a lot...very bad, in fact. I am not sure what will become of it.

Blah, blah, blah

Well, it has been some time since I have posted. Many things I have wanted to say I think twice about, as I never know who reads this and may get pissed off. Or their feelings hurt. I don't know. The last few weeks have been really shitty and I just wish I had a "normal" life. I wish I didn't think about the things that I think about and certain people all of the time. I wish I could believe what someone told me to be true, although I think they are lying. I want to get out of this town. Hands down the worst decision I have ever made. What was I thinking? This town sucks. I wish my family would listen to me, pack up and leave and never return. This town cripples you, suffocates you and then spits you out to nothing. Too much loss and sorrow for me to bear. I think I'd rather be anywhere but here. I wish I knew that I could trust the ones I call friends.

Hello

So, it has been awhile since I have written. I do post on my myspace blog, so if you're that interested in me, you can check it there, too. Not a lot is going on that I can write about on this thing. I posted something on my facebook page that hurt some feelings that I did not mean to hurt, so a lesson was learned. Sometimes you just need to vent and pen and paper won't do it. I am going camping this weekend and I am so excited. Cannot wait! Other than that, so a whole lot I can say here.

Not really saying anything

Well, I have not written for awhile. I had a good post, but then I accidentally erased it. Oh well. Now I am not in the mood to write, so I will write this for now, and maybe I will write more tomorrow. Not a whole lot to talk about. Matt still hates me and I just have to accept it as fact. It blows but that is what I deserve, right? Maybe someday he will realize that he made a harsh judgment. Plus, he never took the time to get to know me. OK, I am outta here.

PANIC!

I think, no I am sure, that I have seen the BEST PANIC SHOW EVER! No fooling around....I called the first 2 songs...Papa Legba and Let's Get Down to Business. I almost peed my pants. So cool. They played an awesome show. Mainly old school, which is fine with me. I've been seeing them since 1990 and I am so impressed with the song selection. Maybe it's because I wasn't so wasted like last night (and put my foot up my ass). Either way, I am stoked. I got a sweet new hemp necklace and I love it! OK, see ya laters!!

Lost in Translation?

So here I am in Kansas City, MO on a Widespread trip. Having an OK time for now. They played a great show last night. I boogied down like a mad girl and drank a lot of beer. I also began with some Beam and that did me in. I just have a bad time when I start out on hard liquor! Also, I need a breathalizer on my phone so as to not drunk-dials my friends. That should also include something for text messages. Matt, if you are reading this, I am truly, truly so very sorry. I feel very empty today, I guess I am supposed to. I will enjoy my show tonight, but there will always be this void. Anyway, not sure what I am meaning to say except that I'm a bad person most of the time.

Good friends, Bad friends

So, last night at the bar, I'm enjoying a tasty bud light pint with a good friend, when Toby, a bad friend walks in. Now, I am OK with seeing him around, but it still sucks that things had to end the way they did. I am really sad to know that we will never be friends again or talk like we used to. I value all of my friends and hate to lose them. That is the saddest part of all. deep down I know there is a better person dying to get out, wanting not to be an asshole. I turned to the left to see who else was there when I saw he was staring at me. I looked at him and kept eye contact until he looked away. That felt good. Normally I'd turn away hoping he hadn't seen me. I hope, when he was staring, that he felt remorse and missed me too. I hope he knows what he lost and it makes him feel sad. It doesn't help that he is totally hot. But hey, there are other hotties out there too. Ones that won't threaten me or want to beat me up!
Other than that, I am anxiously awaiting St. Patty's Day and having the weekend off. I am gonna drink like a fish and get shitty. 11 days until I go to KC to see Widespread Panic! YAH!!!!