What the F@#$?

Well I am in a mood, to say the least. What kind of mood? I am not sure....feelings of being in limbo, being homesick (although I know I need to get OVER that)wanting more from people who are not willing to give me more. Wanting to be the center of someone's universe and getting blown off, in a way. Someone who wants more attention from me than I am willing to give, or want to give for that matter. I ran into somone from my past who was about one tenth of the final reason I moved back here and then when I got back I was told he had found someone else. Even though it stung like a pitcher of beer being poured over my head, we had no committment or promise, just a "see what happens" kind of thing. That is another reason why I should not date my brother's friends, even though they are all hot! So I run into him at the Speakeasy and we end up at his friend's house who has a hot tub, and that was the end of that. (I have a weakness for hot tubs) I was hammered and I remember telling him like 100 times how he broke my heart. He apologized a ton, but I still took great happiness in breaking him down. I don't see him often, which is good, but he is connected to my family. I am rambling. Then there is this other cat I have been hanging out with...like him. He's cool, funny, nice, opens the doors for me.......just not sure what is in his head. He's got a lot of good qualities that I look for in a person. He also has good taste in music and can carry a tune. That's all I say for now.